I mentioned in an earlier blog post that this year's
CX Nats would be one of my only chances to race Nationals. With the locations moving every year, Hartford, Connecticut was one I could pull off with work and traveling. So I trained longer in my season than I usually do and had January 5th as my last race.
I had a pretty stellar season, winning a few races and earning my Cat 1 upgrade - and I kept Nationals as an "experience" race. I didn't want to put so much pressure on myself that I was a stressed-out mess leading up to it. My legs and mind felt great leading up to the race.
Nationals started on
Tuesday, January 3rd. The weather was mild with rain - making the course an absolute mudfest. I watched videos posted of people slogging up
Bonk Breaker Hill and sliding down on their butts. Lots of running. Bikes completely covered in mud. Would it be like this for my race Thursday? The forecast was calling for colder temps to arrive Wednesday night.
Lance and I drove up Wednesday mid-morning, with hopes of me getting in a pre-ride at the scheduled mid-day point. Unlike our local races, pre-riding was only available at three designated times. Upon arrival Wednesday, I saw the mud mess. I opted to walk the course with Ben and discuss lines and potential issues. Due to conditions and lap times, USA Cycling officials took out part of the course and modified other areas. I decided to pre-ride a few sections at the last pre-ride just to see how things would go.
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| One of the many mud sections |
Thursday morning we woke up to frigid temperatures. I arrived on-site early with Ben to find the course was frozen - concrete hard with ruts. I practiced a few different lines and checked out the area that was added back in to the race. I practiced the start. I knew where I wanted to be going through the first turn (which had some small ruts from the day before). I felt good and was ready to rock.
We were parked in the team area with a view of Bonk Breaker Hill. I was able to watch my friends race while staying warm in Ben's van. The sun was shining and I noticed the hill was starting to get softer. During the pre-ride before my race, I opted to go back out for a lap. Conditions had completely changed in the areas that got sun. It became greasy, slick and muddy. Many of the lines I practiced earlier were not rideable. OK. It is what it is.
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| Support crew staying warm in the van |
I went over to staging early. I was the only women in my race from the mid-atlantic area, which was fine to me. That meant I didn't have to race any of my friends and I could leave it all out there. USA Cycling had me ranked 12th out of the 19 women so I had a 2nd row call up. I lined up in the middle, setting myself up for the first turn.
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| photo by L. Dunn |
The whistle blew and we were off. I remember thinking "I'm in a good spot" and as we entered the first turn, that's when it fell apart. Did I drift in top layer of mud? Did I get caught in a rut? Did my wheel overlap? Did I get bumped? I actually don't know what happened - but I ended up slamming into the side barrier - with my left cheek and hand. I was on the ground as I watched my race ride away. I got up, felt my cheek for blood. I noticed my front wheel was turned and my chain dropped. I looked to see how far I had to run to the pit and made the decision to try to fix my bike there. I was already DFL, what else could go wrong?
I pulled myself together and got back on my bike. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, my lip trembling, as I rode past the pit, Ben, and friends. I just blew the whole race. Do I quit now and hang my head in embarrassment? Or push through.
As I came around the corner leading up to Bonk Breaker Hill, I could see two racers on the hill. I had carrots in my sight to chase. I put my head down and tried to convince myself I could do this.
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| Hauling up Bonk Breaker Hill - photo by B. Foley |
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| photo by J. Cote |
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| photo by J. Cote |
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| photo by L. Dunn |
I was able to catch a few ladies in my race. I knew I was no longer DFL but had no idea where I was in the race. I found another girl to race with, chasing and being chased. I heard the bell lap and knew I had one more to go. My bike was starting to phantom shift and the pain in my hand was more noticable. Do I swap out or just keep going. I ride my pit bike in a different position and knew my hand would hurt more. I opted to keep going but fell just before the finish. My chain came off and rather than possibly losing more time and a spot, I ran through the finish.
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| Running for the finish - photo by L. Dunn |
I guess all that running I did leading up to the race paid off. I remember Georgia Gould announcing my finish and mentioning that someone should buy me a beer. As I crossed the finish I looked for Ben or Lance. I found both and friends greeted me at the finish. My hand hurt as well as my heart. I was upset. Upset about my start, upset about my race, upset about my hand. I took my glove off to see how bad it was - swollen and stiff. Off to the medic tent I went.
I later found out that I finished 13th. Some may say "that's still great" but I am disappointed. I wanted to beat my predicted finish. I wanted a good race. I try to remind myself that it was one race - but it was Nationals. Almost two weeks later, I still try to replay what happened but know I need to let it go. It was just one race and I have plenty of great things ahead of me.
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